This morning I was very sad. I want to go back to Haiti and tell Xavier the adoption will really happen and I want to get him a passport so he can come to America and visit while we are waiting for all the paperwork to go through.
The trouble with going back to Haiti is that any money we spend with unnecessary travel is less we have for the adoption itself. We want to get the house paid off also.
I laugh at myself at times like this because I remember that patience decreases with age. The best people when they realize life really does have an expiration date want to use their time the best they can. The rest of us just want to use whatever time we have to do what we want. On a good day I am stuck between those two.
I am 58 years old and can still race bikes, run a half marathon, and adopt kids without homes. I still have a good job, I can still serve in the Army National Guard and right now I am trying to do all these things. And I want to go back to Haiti.
Between my wife and I, it is me who is the emotional one and she who is rational about what can and can't be done. My Task List and Calendar are based on a 40-hour day in which I need no sleep. She organizers her day and gets her Tasks done and really sleeps eight hours each night.
Just to add another level of complication. I called our adoption counselor in PA today about Emarion. I know it is pretty much case closed, but I really think Emarion would have been better off in our home with two brothers who thought he was very cool than in a Foster Home with no permanent family.
So I will talk to Amanda and see if there is one more chance to adopt Emarion.